A Fire Demons Guide to a Moving Castle
by SilverWolfFlight
Summary: Just a regular odd day at the moving castle when Sophie finds a weird book stashed at the back of Calcifer's log pile. Turns out it's a complete guide to the castle written by none other than the fire demon himself! Wonder what it says...
1. Chapter 1: A manual

**A Fire Demons Guide to a Moving Castle**

**Chapter One: A Manual?!**

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**Hey guys! This is a little something that's been playing around in my head for a while now and i decided to just go for it and well... ta-da! I hope you enjoy reading it!**

**Please leave a review at the end!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Howl's Moving Castle only this little fanfic (and the guide, mwahaha)**

**Just a heads up: any italics enclosed in commas for example ****_'blah blah'_**** are someone's thoughts. **

**Any Italics that aren't are Sophie reading the manual!**

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_'Nothing better than a nice clean castle.'_ Thought Sophie as she peered around. '_It took me longer than usual seeing as we now have a garden but it's worth it.'_

She sighed happily at the gleaming castle floors. Everywhere was neat, tidy and orderly including Howl's room which he had finally let her clean. (Though she had done that separately. It had taken her a week to clean his room and get it in order. Today she had just done a bit of 'light' dusting) And it had only taken her three hours.

The peace was suddenly disturbed by Calcifer's loud snoring. She raised an eyebrow at him before letting her jaw drop at his log pile. The logs were scattered all over the floor surrounding the hearth where Calcifer spends his days. They had trailed ash and soot in their wake.

_'Right. Best get to work.'_ She rolled up her sleeves. A brush appeared in her hand and once again she slapped on a pair of gloves.

"Is it safe to come down Markl?" Howl called.

"No! She's just started cleaning again!"

"Again?! How long is she planning to keep it up?!"

"I don't know! Ask her!"

Sophie turned slowly to see Markl watching her from the bottom of the stairs.

"Aaah! She's spotted me!"

"Run, small boy! RUN!"

"Nooo! She's got me!" Markl cried as Sophie grabbed him by the collar.

"Markl…" Sophie said calmly. "Don't ever talk about me like that behind my back again. ESPECIALLY when I can hear you."

"Oh woe is me. I will need a new apprentice. Oh he was such a good lad… And so young. Yes, he was so young. Oh woe is me…" Howl could be heard moaning in his room.

"Oh shut up Howl. I'll deal with you later! Woe is ME more like." Sophie snapped.

Markl wriggled out of her grip and shot off upstairs. Surprisingly they were both silent after that.

Unsurprisingly Calcifer was still asleep. As was the Witch in her bed and Heen who was under the table.

Sophie turned back to clean and shrieked for over a hundred pairs of eyes were staring at her from the soot pile. Occasionally they all blinked in complete synchronisation.

"Sh-Sh-Shoo! Go on! Shoo!" She waved her hands at them.

They blinked at her again before moving as one – like a black cloud – across the room and upstairs.

_'And just like that they're gone. Whatever they are. It didn't look like one big thing but lots of little things… I'll have to hunt them down later. Never mind.'_

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Knock. Knock. Knock.

"Hmm?" Howl got up and opened his bedroom door. There was no one there. He shut the door and returned to his preparations for escaping Sophie's wrath later.

Knock. Knock. Knock.

He got up and opened the door again. Again, there was no one there. He was just about to close it when something nudged his foot. He looked down and saw a cloud of black – with over a hundred pairs of eyes – staring at him.

"Sophie kicked you out of your room?" Howl asked.

All of its eyes blinked in response.

"I know the feeling." He remembered a particularly nasty fight in which he had been forced to stay at an inn in Porthaven for a week while Sophie cleaned his room. "Come on in my little sooty friends. AH!" He yelped when they all tackled him to the ground in a hug.

"Yippee! Yippee!" They squeaked.

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Thunk.

That was the last of the logs. Sophie peered into the hole where the logs had been kept to check. There was a strange shape at the back.

_'Odd. What's this?'_ She pulled out a thick rectangular block. Wiping it with a cloth revealed that it was a book. Sophie set it down on the table and returned to the logs, humming as she worked.

All the while Calcifer was snoring loudly, drooling little green flames.

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"Logs done. Sit down. Feet up. Strange book. Gaze out window. Now back to strange book." Sophie sang.

"YOU'LL NEVER TAKE US ALIVE! MWAHAHAHAHA!" Howl shot past Sophie towards the door to escape. Which failed as the door was locked. He was now sprawled out on the floor due to the collision; a black cape surrounding him.

"Howl. You know you can't leave when the doors are locked. You have to unlock them first. Too bad I have the key. And what do you mean by 'us'?" Sophie peered down at him. "Not to mention a coward like you should be better prepared with his esca-" She shrieked.

Howl's cape had magically grown eyes that were staring at her blankly.

"RETREAT!" Howl jumped up suddenly and rushed back to his room.

"Idiot." She muttered. "Maybe I can finally look at this book."

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_'A Fire Demon's Guide to a Moving Castle… By Calcifer.'_ She eyed the fire demon. '_Might as well read it.' _She turned a few pages in.

It read:

_Contents:_

- _An Introduction_

- _Part One: The Ins and Outs_

- _Part Two: Dealing with Inhabitants and Guests_

- _Afterword_

_'How interesting.' _Sophie smiled._ 'On to the introduction!'_

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**How was it? Please leave a review! And constructive criticism is always appreciated!**

**I'm planning on making this fanfic five chappie's long as another heads up and I'm planning on uploading the second chappie by the end of this week.**

**See you guys later! **


	2. Chapter 2: An introduction

**A Fire Demons Guide to a Moving Castle**

**Chapter Two: An Introduction**

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**Hey guys! I'm back and i have actually stuck to my promise! (No slacking for me! ****So far ****)**

**Anyways, here's part two!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of Howl's Moving Castle. Only this fanfic and the guide.**

**Reminder: ****any italics enclosed in commas for example ****_'blah blah'_****are someone's thoughts.**

**Any Italics that aren't are Sophie reading the manual!**

**Please leave a review at the end!**

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Sophie turned to the introduction page. But before that she flicked through the thick book just throwing her eye over it.

Each page had lovely neat handwriting and fancy borders. They also had quick illustrations and doodles. This surprised her.

_'I wonder how Calcifer did this without setting the whole thing on fire… Oh that's right. Magic, duh.'_ She face palmed at her insolence.

She then thumbed back to the introduction and began to read. (In Calcifer's voice of course!)

_Introduction_

_Now I've been in this castle (if you can even call it that) for many years now. I was here the day Howl pieced it together and I've been stuck in a fireplace ever since. I don't even have a choice. Because it was Howl Jenkins that saved me. That's right. Howl Jenkins the cowardly wizard that's probably scared of his own shadow._

_You see, I was once a star in the sky. A beautiful shining star. I used to spend my days looking down on the land of the humans (I think they call it Ingary) and watch their day-to-day lives simply due to the fact I was curious. I remember one day when I was looking down on an amazing meadow filled with a beautiful array of colourful flowers and wondering what it would be like to see all of this first hand. I remember wishing that one day something would happen and I could do all that._

_I regret making that stupid wish._

_Then came the day which is feared among our kind. We call it the Day of the Fallen. I'm pretty sure the humans call it a meteor shower or a star shower or something ridiculous like that._

_It comes once a year, every year. We fear its arrival and anticipate its end. It is a day when death arrives for some of my kind. I have seen it happen. They are pulled, ripped and dragged out of the sky by a mysterious force and plummet towards the land of the humans. As they fall, they lose all of their power and all of the energy that keeps us alive. It all drains away until they hit the ground and leave this world in a final burst of magical energy._

_This has happened to us since the dawn of time. Some live out their lives completely in the sky never having to face that horrid fate. They are lucky. I am not._

_There came a day a number of years ago when I fell prey to the mysterious force. When I became one of the fallen. As I crashed down to the land I pleaded for anyone or anything to help me. _

_Once again my wish came true._

_I remember closing my eyes and preparing myself for the final moment before suddenly being enveloped in two soft hands. I looked up to see a young human boy with raven blue hair staring down at me. I actually found his gaze piercing. But his sparkling light blue eyes calmed me down. This boy was curious. He was harmless. He was my ticket out of this mess._

_It was then I made a deal with him. A deal I'm afraid I cannot write about. And it's that deal that has kept me here after all this time._

_So back to the introduction. I've rambled on a bit haven't I? I promised myself I wouldn't but oh well._

_Anyway, that deal is the reason why I'm still stuck in this damned castle where Howl treats me like a slave! And that deal's become a curse now! But I've recently started preparing myself for the day when this curse breaks and I'm FREE! After all, a scary and powerful fire demon like me shouldn't be stuck here for all my life. This is why I'm writing this manual. For the unlucky sucker who has to take my place when I'm gone._

_So I now entrust you – the unlucky sucker – with this little guide to the moving castle._

Sophie looked up at the sleeping Calcifer. '_I didn't realise it would contain this much detail about himself. I wonder what else I'll find out.'_

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**There we go! Chapter 3 will hopefully be up on Tuesday this coming week. **

**So what did you think? Please leave a review and constructive criticism is always appreciated! **

**See you guys later!**


	3. Chapter 3: The Ins and Outs

**A Fire Demons Guide to a Moving Castle**

**Chapter Three: The Ins and Outs**

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**Hey guys! Here's chapter three!**

**Please leave a review at the end!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of Howl's Moving Castle. Only this fanfic and the guide.**

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Sophie turned to the first section of the book:

_Part One: The Ins and Outs_

_The thing about controlling a moving castle is that YOU have to do ALL the work. Nobody helps you. Not even that lazy, vain, good-for-nothing coward Howl. So you need to know a few things in order to keep it moving nicely. I've put together a couple of tips and advice to help you. I've even categorised them for you with some little subtitles. (Shows you just how boring this place can get.)'_

_'Boring? Here?! With Howl around? Is such a thing even possible?!'_ A loud smack and a howl of pain came from upstairs. '_See. You can't go ten minutes in this place without something happening.' _She headed upstairs.

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15 minutes later:

Sophie sat down and sighed. Markl had enchanted a mannequin to mimic his every movement… Which would have been fine if the mannequin hadn't achieved a mind of its own. Markl had panicked and ran to Howl for help. Howl had scrapped together some courage (finally) and faced up to the mannequin. The howl of pain had come from when the mannequin slapped Howl across the face.

Sophie had found it amusing to watch them both. At one point she realised the soot balls were lined up along the bannister watching with her. She didn't mind but their synchronised blinking still unnerved her slightly. She had eventually gotten bored and wandered back downstairs. Howl and Markl were still fighting the mannequin.

She returned to the book.

_Keeping the castle at the right temperature_

_Ok. Subtitle says it all. And you HAVE to do this. Believe me when I say that we can adjust to temperatures humans like but humans cannot adjust to temperatures we like._

_I know, I know. It's unfair. Yes we do have rights but humans don't acknowledge them. And no, you can't just force it on them to evolve as humans take hundreds of years to evolve and we only take a few weeks. You know, because we're so amazing and superior. _

_And it's because we're so amazing and superior that we need to take care of the humans. Face it, Howl would be lost without me. I know that for sure. And taking care of the humans means following ALL these rules and tips. ESPECIALLY this one._

_If you don't follow this rule two things can happen to the humans. They will either:_

_A)__Freeze to death_

_Or_

_B)__Melt (To death of course)_

_I would recommend keeping the castle around 20'C. That would be 68F if you don't use Celsius. It's a nice, safe, solid temperature. (And I said 20'C not 20,000'C! Don't go blaming me if your humans melt! And it's not -20'C either!) Oh, and do make it a little hotter in the winter and a little cooler in the summer. So:_

_Winter: Around 20'C to 30'C_

_Spring: 20'C_

_Summer: 15'C to 20'C maybe_

_Autumn: 20'C_

_Try to stick to that. If you don't the humans are bound to complain. And once they start, they don't stop._

_Keeping everything moving:_

_This section will save you some trouble in the future. It will be about the actual castle itself and how to move it._

_The castle itself… To be honest I don't know how to describe it. At night it looks a four legged nightmare of a monster but in the day it looks like a moving junk heap. Though Howl did just cobble it together using anything he could find._

_And it's very easy to control thank heavens. Because it's a magic castle you only have to will it to move and it'll move. That's kinda the only way I know how to explain it as I've never really thought about it. I'll ask Howl._

**_This is Howl Jenkins explaining the castle's controls for future references or so I'm told. Now I'm writing this because apparently if I have nothing else to do besides look in the mirror all day at my – oh how it pains me to even write this – pugly playboy face then I need to get a life and I can start by writing in this pointless waste of paper._**

**_*Sigh* Basically the fireplace in which Calcifer is positioned acts as a control center for the whole castle. And Calcifer's magic acts as its power source. (You could also say he is the glue that holds this place together because if he ever leaves the castle the whole place will collapse) When at the fireplace he is at the center of the castle and from there can control all parts of it. His magic is positioned so it will flow through the castle allowing him to control and manipulate it. He can move the castle simply by thinking about what he wants it to do and 'willing it' to do so… Now I'm confused._**

**_Let's just say that the castle is like a body and Calcifer is the brain that controls it. No that's creepy… Never mind. I think you get the idea._**

**_-Howl_**

_Er… Moving on._

_Dealing with water_

_This is important (all of these sections are) because if you get this wrong it can do serious damage to your humans, yourself and the castle. It may not seem it, but water is just as dangerous to humans as it is to us._

_Now the humans will be a little blunt when it comes to temperature. Most of the time you'll probably just get a "Make some hot water." Or "Prepare some cold water." Or "Water please!" which is REALLY helpful. (Not.)_

_The thing is if the water is too hot it burns the humans and they complain about it for weeks on end._

_But if it's too cold they can catch a cold or something and then they complain about it for days on end._

_Either way they complain and you have to start from scratch._

_Yes. You. Because Howl's too damn cheap to buy a water heater/boiler. Unless the owner in your time has (lucky you) then you'll have to do it all yourself._

_Anyways I would recommend testing out different temperatures on the humans you're with. It's what I did and I'm fine now. (However it took three hospital visits, five sick days and several magic potions before I got it.)_

_Just to help (in other words you have to remember this) I'll give you a couple guideline temperatures._

_For cold: Nothing below -10'C._

_For hot: Nothing above 50'C._

_I'd start with cold around 0'C and for hot around 25'C. Good luck._

_One more thing. Use the two spare water tanks to store hot and cold water in case of emergency._

_And all water has to be clean water. Got that? CLEAN water._

_Keeping the place clean_

_Forget about it. If they want the place clean they can do it themselves._

_What are we? Servants?_

_Dealing with pests_

_Meh. Don't worry about them either. (Spiders, mice, rats and flies are probably the most common pests to appear.)_

_Really it depends on the personal preferences of the human in charge of the castle. Their preferences. Their problem._

_For instance, Howl doesn't give a damn so why should I? And if he did care I still wouldn't. I wouldn't do anything about the pests._

_Unless the pests are termites who… eat… your… logs… Then… THEY MUST FEEL YOUR FIERY RAGE! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!_

_Ahem. The next section will be about… ugh… humans._

_'So that's why there are no termites.' _Sophie thought to herself.

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**So... Whaddaya think? Please leave a review!**

**I'm hoping to upload a new chapter either this Sunday or the beginning of next week.**


	4. Chapter 4: The Inhabitants

**A Fire Demons Guide to a Moving Castle**

**Chapter Four: The Inhabitants**

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**Sorry for the wait, I lost my notebook with the chapter in. (-_-;) - Sweatdrop emoticon**

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of Howl's Moving Castle. Only this fanfic and the guide! ('TIS MINE! MWAHAHA)**

**Ahem. Please leave a review at the end!**

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_'Inhabitants eh? So this section is about us then? I might not be in it though… Thank God.'_ Sophie hummed as she turned over the page.

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_Part Two: The Inhabitants_

_The most difficult thing about controlling a moving castle is that you have to put up with the humans that live there. AND you have to do what your master (in my case Howl) tells you or else. That's not all. You also have to put up with the others and do what THEY tell you. So basically you're at the bottom of the pecking order! It's so unfair! ARRRGHH! It makes me so mad!_

_This part of the guide tells you how to deal with these people. And since this manual is about Howl's Moving Castle I will be using the people who live here during my time for the examples._

_Alright let's begin:_

_Being an Agony Aunt:_

_Yes, an agony aunt. Don't ask how this happens. It just does. You'll be peacefully snoozing away in your fireplace and BAM! All of a sudden about five faces are staring down at you demanding that you listen to their problems._

_Though it's not all that bad. For starters you get to listen to ALL the castle gossip. And I mean ALL. I know that fire demons aren't really gossipers but it can get seriously boring here. So a little gossip goes a long way if you know what I mean._

_For example, I was once told by Howl that he was thinking of getting a perm. (Oh how I laughed)_

_Second of all solving people's problems actually… well this is embarrassing… it actually creates a warm feeling in our cold hearts. I think it's because – you know – we've done a good thing and helped someone and now they'll finally shut up._

_It's only fair I tell you how to be a good agony aunt right? Now bearing in mind this is in my own opinion here are a couple ways to be a good agony aunt:_

_1. LISTEN to the problem. Don't interrupt them or anything. Listen to the whole problem and not just what you want to hear._

_2. Once you've done that take a few moments to think about what you've just heard._

_3. Is there more than one side to the story? If there is, it's best to listen to all sides before making a decision._

_4. The decision is kinda just voicing your own opinion on the situation. But please make sure your decision is on what you think would be best for everyone._

_It's a lot easier than it sounds as you'll rarely get a tough problem._

_Dealing with the master's orders:_

_I hate this section. I hate taking orders and I bet you do too! I say that as far as I'm concerned Howl can shove his fashion faux pas up his… Ahem. However we have no choice._

_Me because of a stupid deal I made and I'm sure your situation is something similar to mine. I mean, surely you're not staying with the humans on your own free will?_

_Anyway (and this is a bit sly), just because you TAKE orders doesn't mean you have to DO them. Feel free to pick and choose. It's what I do and I get along just fine._

_Though do take care when choosing what orders you do and don't do. You have to do all orders that are important and need to be done immediately. At the same time you don't have to do any orders that will go unnoticed if not completed. (It is sly isn't it? But also cunning… Yes… Cunning…)_

_Putting up with guests:_

_Guests are the WORST thing that can ever enter the castle. They're worse than witches, goblins, faeries, pixies and elves._

_We get quite a few guests here at the moving castle at the moving castle. They're mostly girls Howl's going to jilt. He is the most disrespectful, pathetic man I have ever seen. And the day he spends less than 3 hours in the bathroom in the morning is the day he's truly in love, I say!_

_Now, when there are guests try to remain unnoticed. This is because if the guests do notice you they tend to scream and shout a lot._

_We're not that ugly… Are we?_

_Getting to know the people:_

_After a while you'll be able to define who are guests and who aren't. You can usually tell as people who aren't guests tend to stay inevitably and Howl doesn't get pissed. These people are called inhabitants. (Or people-Howl-doesn't-get-pissed-at)_

_Inhabitants can just arrive out of the blue. For instance it used to be just me and Howl. But one day Howl was setting off into Porthaven and found a little boy asleep on the doorstep. Apparently, he had no place to go to as a fire had burned down his home, killing his family. I was shocked, this boy had lost everything and he just carries on with life? I could never do such a thing. So Howl took pity on the young lad and took him on as an apprentice (Whoopee doo. One more mouth to feed). Now he stays here – his name's Markl – and he's actually not all that bad. (Except I have to help him with the tasks Howl sets him every so often.)_

_Continuing this part of the guide… When you've established who are guests and who are inhabitants go ahead and reveal yourself. Make sure they know you exist!_

_But first you must watch them. And do so with care. Watch the way they walk, talk and act. Watch until you have a rough outline of who they are and what they're like. After all, you can never be too careful._

_Establishing your POWER:_

_This is a sort of carry on from the last sub-heading. Read this as it's important (Everything is but I feel like I have to repeat this every now and again for extra important stuff.)_

_Though technically you're at the bottom of the pecking order establishing your power means they – the humans – will see you as an omnipotent being that is not to be messed with. *Grins wickedly*_

_So once you've watched and got a general idea of what everyone's like then go ahead and make sure they know you exist. Go about it in a way that emphasises your power and "authority". Think about it, first impressions are very important._

_Why not put on a little show? Show them your SPARK! Declare that you are scary and powerful; prove your point with a fiery explosion. Humans are suckers for little demonstrations._

_However some might not believe what you say. For those humans fear is most effective. Kindly inform that it would be much better to believe what you say and have you as a friend rather than a foe, since it is you who is in control of the castle and if they still don't believe you… Give them a little 'friendly' demonstration._

_By then you should have nailed it._

_Tolerance and Patience:_

_Tolerance – A fair, objective, and permissive attitude toward those whose opinions, practices, race, religion, nationality etc., differ from one's own._

_Patience – The quality of being patient, as the bearing of provocation, annoyance, misfortune or pain without complaint, loss of temper, irritation or the like._

_Yeah you do need those two definitions. Especially for those moments when you find yourself screaming "WHAT IS PATIENCE/TOLERANCE?!" (I know I have)_

_Those two are annoying as they take time (A hell of a lot of it may I add) to build up and achieve. Basically, you will have to wait patiently (no pun intended) and they will come._

_In the meantime while you wait I should mention that besides waiting and testing yourself in order to build up your patience and tolerance there is no true/ definite way to do it._

_But I would recommend buying a so-called stress ball. And buy lots of them as trust me, you'll need 'em and they don't last._

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**So what do you think? This isn't the end by the way! There is still one more chapter to come!**

**Until then, CIAO!**

**(Please leave a review!)**


	5. Chapter 5: Afterword

**A Fire Demons Guide to a Moving Castle**

**Chapter Five: Afterword**

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**I'm so sorry! Forgive me! I'm not gonna make any excuses. Life threw shit at me, I dealt with it (fabulously I might add), and now I'm back!**

**What happened to the line thingys aswell?! I relied on those! (-_-) - Not amused**

**If anyone knows how to get 'em back I'd really appreciate it! Until then the line of 'x' replaces them.**

**Soooooo... The final chappie eh?**

**Disclaimer: ****Disclaimer: I do not own any of Howl's Moving Castle. Only this fanfic and the guide! ('TIS MINE! MWAHAHA)**

**Ahem. Please leave a review at the end!**

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_'So that's the end of part two. I suppose that means it's the book's end.'_ Sophie was just about to close the book when a slip of paper fell out the back.

_'What on Ingary?'_ She picked up the slip of paper, it was yellowed with age. Carefully – so not to rip it - she unfolded the slip.

It was a final note from Calcifer.

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_I've been in this castle for over a decade now. I've seen its ups and downs, its rises and falls. Heck, I've even seen its new additions. They're the Witch of the Waste, Sulliman's dog Heen, an enchanted scarecrow named Turnip Head (who has one bad curse on him) and an old woman named Sophie Hatter._

_Don't ask me how they got here. It's a long story._

_Though now as I watch them drift off to sleep (that sounds REAL creepy doesn't it?) I can only wonder how much time is left until the story's end. Sophie is close to breaking the curse on me and Howl, I know it. And once she breaks it I'm free._

_Problem is I don't know whether I want to be free or not. Once I stopped focusing on my obsession with freedom I realised a lot about the humans._

_Which brings me to my final hidden section of this guide:_

_Final Part: Keeping them Safe_

_Now I'm not gonna go all sappy over the humans but I will say this: when on the land of the humans, their survival is vital to our existence. If you're lucky enough to be caught by a human – and a good human at that – then just… try to be friendly towards them. Because believe me… They're certainly worth it._

_The humans I live with (and this is VERY embarrassing to say) are kind and caring and considerate. Sure they bark orders at me every once in a while but yesterday Sophie told me that she liked my spark!_

_I like Sophie. Since she came everyone (well, almost everyone) has changed. Including me! Though I don't mind as she understands the pain of being cursed too. She was cursed to become a 90 year-old woman when in actual fact she's only 20-something at best. I don't envy her as that's one bad curse; it's a Witch of the Waste curse._

_Markl's become more open and friendly. The Witch of the Waste is now showing her true age but she's very calm. (She does eye me a lot know which is unnerving) I'm not sure how Heen's changed. To be honest I don't really trust the Witch or Heen. Something's up. However I still do my best to be friendly towards them._

_Howl's still an ass. If not even more of an ass than before. _

_Humans are hard to explain. They're complicated creatures. Even more complicated than we are. Now isn't that saying something!_

_Humans are complicated yet extraordinary. They can and have accomplished things we couldn't even dream of! They are super intelligent; though not as intelligent as we are of course._

_Most of all, many humans are caring as well as compassionate. They will look after you, treat you well. They make sure you are dry so you don't simmer out. They make sure you're warm so you don't freeze. And they keep you company which is a delight (most of the time)._

_In return become their protector. Extraordinary humans may be but they're incredibly easy to kill. So put up some shields around the castle. Scan and run a constant surveillance of the castle's surroundings to iron out any threats. Keep the water at the right temperature so they don't freeze or boil. Lock the doors – also enchant them for extra protection – so no unwanted beings (humans aren't the only creatures down here) can enter the castle and harm your humans._

_Because at the end of the day they're all that matter. I do all these things for I can't stand the thought of losing my humans. I care for them deeply._

_On that final note, this is the true end of the manual. I recommend that you always keep it with you in case of emergency. Personally I've found it helpful just writing down all this stuff; it's improved my memory as well as my knowledge. _

_I wish you luck and remember, the humans are your new family and you their new protector._

- _Calcifer _

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Sophie smiled softly at the note. _'I never knew Calcifer cared about us so much. He wrote this before we rebuilt the castle. I wonder if he still feels the same way.'_

"There you are darling I've been looking everywhere for you." Howl sat down on the arm of the chair wrapping his arm around Sophie's shoulders and bringing her closer to him.

"What's that book you're looking at? I've never seen it before."

"Oh this? It's nothing you'd be interested in. It's a… a… a feminine romance novel."

"Romance novel? I didn't know you were into that kind of thing." He paused before his eyes widened in shock. "Sophie!"

"Y-yes?"

"Are you reading this because I'm not enough of a romantic for you? Am I not wild enough?! Did you see my hair this morning? THAT was wild! Am I not-"

"Howl! Howl! It's fine. You're fine!" Sophie reassured him.

"Hmm… Alright then. Fine it is. Just fine. Finey fine fine." He looked offended.

"Oh for-Argh!"

"Fine. Fine, fine, fine, fine, fine." He 'fined' his way back up to his room.

_'Calcifer would die of embarrassment if Howl read this.'_ She looked up at the sleeping fire demon who was snoring away. _'He really does care for us. Even if he tries to hide it.'_

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**That was the final chappie! So glad I completed this fic instead of leaving it to disappear (which it almost did).**

**That was the end then. What did you think? Please leave a review and constructive criticism is always appreciated!**

**CIAO! AU REVOIR! SEE YA! SAYONARA! ADIOS AMIGOS! UND GUTEN NACHT MEINE DOPPELHAUSES!**

**(yes I know what they mean. S'later! ;D)**


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